A Guide for New Kitten Owners
Advice for new catgirl/boy Owners:
1. When kitten claims they are right, you might as well have fun punishing them because they won’t change their mind about it.
2. Know their food schedules, if you miss it…have bandaids handy.
3. Place nap zones all over the house, the likely hood of oral appreciation will increase the more of them you place in sunlight zones.
4. Your lap is no longer yours, get used to it.
5. Prepare to cuddle with your kitten at night, as well as lose all your bed covers, half of your pillow and learn to enjoy the 1/4 of space sliver on the edge of the bed.
6. Toss your alarm out, ritual morning pounces and back to back meowing for breakfast will be your new one. Trust me, you can count it.
7. Always keep handkerchiefs on hand, through most of the day with your kitten you will find your body damp from all the licking they will do to claim you.
8. Sitting alone is no longer an option.
9. Your hobbies now include petting kitten, petting kitten more, no seriously…don’t stop petting kitten…
10. It is now your duty to pet kitten whenever they want and to stop when they want. Feel free to try and do what you want, but again…have bandaids near.
11. What is yours is now theirs.
12. Seriously…paws off, it’s theirs.
13. Kittens hair will need brushed at the top of every hour, followed by petting.
14. Prepare for your kitten to only listen 1/10th of the time. And that’s usually their name call for food.
15. If you get a kitten girl/boy and are prepared for gentle love making, understand you will still come out of it with bite and claw marks.
16. Have a good story prepared for your workmates on why you always have claw marks on your neck and arms.
17. Kittens don’t do tricks. But keep trying, it amuses them anyways.
18. Don’t get a second kitten for them to play with if you value your sanity.
19. Invest in nightlights. Your kitten will automatically turn into a hunter at night and your ankles are on the menu.
20. Pet your kitten, did we mention to pet your kitten?
21. Cause you should go, right now, and pet your kitten.
22. Why weren’t you petting them as you were reading this?
23. Pet your pet, it’s very simple.
24. I said pet me.
25. Pet me already!
26. PET ME!
27! PET ME! PET ME! MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW…..
4 months ago with 1,504 notes